I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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