So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
