For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
