True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
