just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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