I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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