ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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