I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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