i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
