My first STD was from a foam party
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
