the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
