filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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