Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
