You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
