Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
