you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
