I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize