Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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