i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
