i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize