Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Are we still banned from the library?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
