you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
