it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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