I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I deserve this hangover.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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