I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
