Welp...herpes.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
