This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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