I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
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