Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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