There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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