you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Randomize
