I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
