And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
