I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
