it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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