I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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