I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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