i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
