I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
