So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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