Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
