Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
