I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize