Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
