i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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