btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
