yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize