My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
