i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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