I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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