i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
