but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize