Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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