xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
