FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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