..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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