There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
