shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
