Christians are straight up FREAKS
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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